Highly Reactive
by Beta Gyre
Summary: Tony Stark meets modern-AU!Flynn Rider, and they don't exactly hit it off. They barely avoid hitting each OTHER. But there IS a reason for the meeting, once they can calm down enough to talk.


**Disclaimer**: _Tangled _belongs to Disney. Characters from the _Iron Man _universe belong to Marvel. I'm just having some fun.

**Author's Note**: I don't even know what to say about this. Uh. ("Just the facts, ma'am, just the facts.") Okay, in case anyone starts to read this and thinks "WTF" about it, this version of Flynn is based very heavily on my novel-length fic _Bad Influence_. It's an AU crossover of that fanfic with the Marvel movie universe. However, it's not necessary to read that story to understand what's going on in this short, and his back story isn't completely the same anyway. In this AU, Flynn writes young adult fiction and still lobbies in Washington, DC.

What can I say? This is just a silly piece with no purpose other than to have these two interact. It was far, _far _too much fun to write. So much fun that it's embarrassing. I hope somebody else enjoys it as much as I did.

**Rating**: T for innuendo and language, as there certainly would be in this meeting.

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**Highly Reactive**

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The temperature was perfect, the wine sparkled, and the lighting was subdued just enough to cast a highly flattering light on the occupants of the ballroom at the Washington DC Ritz-Carlton. The politicians and private sector VIPs circulated comfortably, occasionally forming small groups who chatted socially and laughed with all the smug confidence expected of the elite. Everyone there was rich and influential, and this was an excuse for them to preen, to let the chandelier light reflect off their diamonds as they flashed pearly white teeth at each other.

But even at this soiree, there were some sticks-in-the-mud. Two of them stood next to the far wall, an attractive young man and woman, both dark-haired, dressed in a well-tailored black suit and a short black cocktail dress. A glittery diamond dangled from her neck, matching the one on her hand. They kept to themselves, brushing off anyone else who tried to talk to them and staring out at the room. One of the young man's hands held a wine glass. The other wrapped possessively around the woman's waist, as if he were afraid some other man in the room might take her away from him despite the jewelry on her finger...

He leaned over. "Punz. Are you all right?" he whispered into her ear.

She nodded. "Flynn, I don't know _how _you ever got used to these horrible events, but I'm okay. I just wish he would get away from those idiots so you can give it to him and we can _leave _this place." She glared across the room at a far corner, where a handsome man was surrounded by women dressed in a variety of sparkly colors that made her own dress, classically elegant as it was, look simple. The man in the corner was laughing uproariously, and even from this distance, it was obvious that he was flirting with every woman in the group—and that they were all okay with this. Several of his companions looked drunk, based on how they were behaving.

Flynn smiled knowingly. "I'm pretty sure the woman in sparkly red is the daughter of the honorable senator from New York," he said with an edge of sarcasm as he enunciated the title.

As they gazed upon the gathering of fangirls, the red-gowned woman in question laughed loudly, leaned into the man's shoulder, and tried to kiss him on the cheek. He looked a bit uncomfortable and tried to move away.

"I'm also pretty sure she's had too much to drink," Flynn remarked in a falsely detached tone. "Should I employ some hardball tactics?" His brown eyes gleamed.

She burst into a grin. "Do it," she urged.

He smirked back, brought her hand to his lips, and released it as he began to move in the direction of a cluster of gray-haired, balding, self-important-looking men. She watched with that grin remaining on her face as he spoke to the senators and congressmen. When one of them broke away from the small group and headed in the direction of the playboy in the corner, a deep scowl on his face, she could hardly keep from laughing out loud. The man immediately noticed the approach of the senator and, before his inebriated companions could stop him, detached himself from the groupies as quickly as he could. The senator stopped his approach as the group broke up, moving instead toward his daughter.

Meanwhile, Flynn smirked to himself as he zeroed in on his target. So easy.

The smirk on Flynn's face faded as the man he was approaching noticed him and a look of comprehension dawned on his face about what had just happened. He stopped cold and sneered.

"Well, you've got me alone now, if that was your plan," the man said, glaring at Flynn.

Flynn raised an eyebrow. "A fine evening to you too, Stark," he said pointedly.

Tony Stark scowled. "Who are you? Do you work for Fury?" he asked in a sudden flash of inspiration.

"For _who?"_ Flynn asked.

One corner of Tony's mouth edged upward. "Oh, nothing," he said aloofly. "I remember you now. You're the senior partner in that lobbying firm, Crown Group." His lower lip curled. "I have to say, Rider, that was an _impressive _way to take over a firm. Very classy."

A muscle in Flynn's neck twitched, but he continued to peer at Tony Stark with magnanimity. "Are you feeling all right tonight, Stark? You haven't had too much to drink?"

"I'm _quite_ well, thank you," Tony said through clenched teeth.

"And Miss Potts? I don't see _her _here," Flynn said pointedly, with a brief sideways glance at the scattered groupies.

"She's in New York. She hates these events." Tony's eyes scanned the room until he found the person he was looking for. "What about your wife? Just walked off and left her, did you?"

"She hates them too, and she didn't _want _to come over here and deal with you." Flynn regretted it as soon as he said it, because it would indicate that Stark had gotten to him, but there was no taking it back.

Sure enough, a smug grin formed on Tony's face. "She does look like she hates this," he remarked, gazing upon Rapunzel in a greedy way—not because he had the slightest intention of flirting with her, but because he knew it would irritate Flynn, which, sure enough, it visibly did. "She doesn't look well at all, come to think of it. Why don't you take her home?"

"She said she's fine. She's just expecting."

Tony shuddered. "Ugh. Better you than me," he said rudely.

"I _completely_ agree," Flynn said, glaring. "Being a self-absorbed narcissistic rich brat is one thing if you actually _aren't _responsible for anyone but yourself." He cursed himself mentally once again, but as much as he was loath to admit it, Tony Stark _was _getting his goat.

Tony smirked in satisfaction. "Okay, let's make a comparison then, Rider. Me: Graduated from college at 17. Billionaire. Now you: Graduated at 19. Millionaire." He shifted his open palms as if weighing two things against each other. "Hmm. Maybe I have more _right _to be 'self-absorbed and narcissistic' than you do."

"Except that I'm a _self-made _millionaire," Flynn said.

Stark raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Well, it's like I said. That's okay if you can't be a self-made billionaire."

"Oh, please," Flynn scoffed, smoothing out his tie and smirking back in an attempt to mask the growing irritation he was feeling. "You _inherited_ your money."

"_Not_ entirely," Tony said with an arrogant, aloof smile. "I'm a visionary and an inventor."

"And if you hadn't had daddy's name and daddy's company, your brilliant ideas would have been bought up by the MIC for pocket change and you would've been giddy over the crumbs they threw you—and that's if they didn't just steal it outright. You know about corporate espionage, Stark?" He wanted to stop talking, but it was as if he had no control over his mouth anymore.

Tony's eyebrows narrowed. "Do _I_ know about corporate espionage?" he growled, clenching his fist involuntarily.

Flynn peered condescendingly at the man. "Oh, right, you probably _do_ it."

Tony took another sip of his drink. He was breathing heavily as he glared at Flynn. "You _really _don't want me to suit up against you, Rider," he said between clenched teeth. "It would be like squishing a bug."

"Oh, that _wouldn't _be very nice," Flynn said with a smirk. "Tsk, tsk. Violent assault on a noncombatant civilian. _Not _very easy to explain to Congress, now would it?" He could hardly contain his glee, nor the smug grin on his face.

But Tony's quick mind had already thought of a new angle. His muscles seemed to relax as the immediate anger and hostility dissipated, replaced by arrogant confidence of his own. He turned to Flynn with the look of a predator about to deliver a bite.

"Congress, you say? Now that you mention it, that reminds me. You got down in the muck and slime, didn't you?" He sipped his drink and quirked an eyebrow. "Let me see, what was it? Oh right, bribery and extortion, I think?" His tone was deeply ironic, and it had its desired effect. Flynn was struck dumb.

Stark deposited his empty glass on a tray as a passing server moved by. He quickly reached for a replacement and took a sip, pointing a single finger upward as he pretended to have just remembered something. "Why yes, it _was!"_ he continued with a smile. "And you're here talking to me, rather than playing Sudoku in the federal penitentiary, why exactly? Oh, don't tell me," he said as Flynn finally opened his mouth to cut off the flow of sarcasm. "I bet I can guess. You turned in everyone _else _in the firm in exchange for immunity for yourself, and came out of it with full ownership of what was left." Tony Stark sipped his wine again and regarded Flynn with a look of contempt. "So where were we? Oh yes, you threatened to tell on me to your slimy friends in Congress. You talk a lot with Stern now?"

Flynn's lip curled in disgust. "Screw Stern."

"No thanks, I really think you would know more about that than I do."

At this Flynn smirked, as if he knew a secret. "You know, I _do _know a fair amount about that, come to think of it." He stuck one hand in his pants pocket. "Want me to show you?"

Tony finally had had enough. "You disgust me," he said. "What the hell do you _want? _Why are you here, keeping me from enjoying myself?"

Flynn smiled. "I'm glad you asked," he said sincerely. "Really, I am. I've been waiting for that very question."

"Then why didn't you just tell me whatever it is you have yet to tell me, instead of having some kind of public cockfight with me?"

"Would _you _have let it slide if our roles were reversed and I'd immediately made a snide comment about _your _past?"

A flash of self-reproach passed over Tony's face for a moment. "Okay, point taken," he muttered. "So. What do you want with me, then?"

Flynn pulled his hand out of his pocket. His fingers enclosed a small black Flash drive. He gazed around the room, making sure that nobody was watching or listening in, before speaking. When he did speak, his voice was hushed and his words were spoken quickly. "All right. You actually got it right at the very start. I _do _work for S.H.I.E.L.D. on the side."

Tony's eyes grew wide.

"I do the same kind of work your friend Romanoff does. And I have a whole _dossier _of information about politicians, high-ranking Defense and Energy bureaucrats, generals... people you _might_ be interested in. Fury wanted me to give it to you, since you also deal with them. There are some rather... _interesting _alliances and allegiances, which it would be a good idea for you to know about." He pushed the drive at Tony. "And it's all on this."

Tony looked astonished. "So this is what you mean by 'screwing Stern'? This is what they paid you to do, to spy on the fine officials of our federal government and find out who they really work for?"

Flynn smirked. "Well yes, but actually, I did more, ah, research on the side that they don't know about... and it'd be best if they didn't find _out _about. As for Stern... you just take that back to New York, get 'HAL 9000' to scan it, and you'll see what I mean. Oh, and it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep a vomit pail nearby." He shuddered at some memory.

Tony's eyes widened even more as he realized Flynn's meaning. "That's disgusting to think about," he said.

"Well yes, it is. But I think you'll enjoy it in a different way."

"Oh," Tony said, taking the Flash drive and sticking it in his pocket, a smirk forming on his face, "I am _sure _I will."


End file.
